Birthday Unplugged

Hey, there, Spiritual Trailblazer!

I am slowly settling in from my work/vacay to the Bahamas where I spoke at The Creativepreneur Summit At Sea and celebrated my birthday, which was 31 August. Shoutout to my Virgos! Fun fact, I was born two weeks late (my poor mom). I was almost a Leo. There’s actually a lot of Leo in my astrological chart (I’ll talk about that in a future blog post). So, I have a significant amount of Leo traits.

Now, I’m going to cut to the chase about how I feel to be 32 years old. In the words of Lauryn Evarts from The Skinny Confidential, get ready for some major realness.

It feels pretty darn good! I didn’t have a life crisis at 30 and thought of all the things I need to do and should have done because I live my life according to me. So, turning 32 feels like a great accomplishment. I don’t compare myself to others, I stay in my lane, I love fiercely, get emotional over food and dogs, make time for the people I love and who love me, and work each day towards my ultimate life and biz goals. I don’t waste a moment of my life. Side note: Girls Just Want To Have Fun just started playing in the background as I type this post.

The only thing that frustrates me is that I wasn’t a millionaire by 30. Haha I know it seems like it’s every entrepreneur’s dream when they start a biz before age 30. Whatever. I’ll get there.

So, back to being 32 years old. It’s not so bad. I’m more comfortable with being “Tia” than ever before. I’m a highly creative person and I’m expressing that more and more. Yes, I was that kid who doodled in her notebooks in grade school and took notes using glitter gel pens in high school. I express myself by using makeup palettes, getting chrome colored nails, sporting blue contacts with no apologies, and rocking tattoos. That’s me.

I travel. I question life. I try new things. I listen. I make mistakes. I cuss. I get back on the bandwagon.

I’ve learn some hard lessons in life.

 

One main reason why I have been able to live life so boldly is because of the deaths of my grandparents (and the two-year healing journey that came after those traumatic experiences). I talked about their deaths in both of my books, Every Woman Is A Goddess and How To Get To The Point In Your Life.  Death puts a lot of things in perspective for you. I’m not trying to be a Debbie Downer here, but hear me out. I watched my grandmother battle cancer for two years. My Pop-Pop was found in a morgue. He died of a broken heart. His cousin and I teamed up to find him. I was in my early twenties and completing my Bachelors degree when this went down. I cried all the time- on the bus, at work, you name it. I was not prepared for two people, who have been in my life since the day I was born, to no longer be here with me in the physical form. My grades dropped dramatically and I nearly lost my job (we had to maintain a certain GPA). I learned that life will give you a roundhouse kick and you have to learn how to pick up the pieces and emerge as a stronger woman.

The other main reason are the foot surgeries I underwent. I’ve had a total of four major foot surgeries. The last surgery resulted in more metal being put in my foot and me not being able to walk for 3.5 months. Talk about a set back! One has a lot of time to think while in bed recovering. Also, a greater appreciation for the ability to walk is ever present. I don’t take anything for granted. One day, I’ll talk about my foot surgeries and recovery in a blog post. We have to do the physical therapy and keep up with doing the exercises after PT is done. Most importantly, getting back into the groove of living an active life is a mental thing that needs to be addressed.

I believe everyone’s birthday is a holiday!

 

I’m all about celebrating birthdays! I think it’s a great thing to honor someone on their birthday. Look, life isn’t easy. Everyone is dealing with something. So, let’s celebrate the fact that we made it through another year, even if it is by the skin of our teeth.

Some people think that because they turn a certain age that it’s silly or not practical to celebrate their birthday. That makes me think that something or someone made them feel like they aren’t supposed to celebrate their birthday or that they feel like they need someone to celebrate their birthday with or it’s not worth it.

YOU can celebrate your birthday how YOU see fit. I just convinced a friend to celebrate solo. Treat yourself. Make yourself feel good. You may meet someone while you’re celebrating your birthday. You’ll be surprised how nice people are to the birthday gal or guy (even if they don’t know you).

Screw the people who think birthdays are a silly thing to celebrate. You and I are worth the celebration. We made it through another year! Give us our props!

Years ago, my best-friend and I made a pact to be in charge of our own happiness, especially on our birthdays.

My best-friend and I used to focus on birthday parties, which means that we ended up making sure the party went off without a hitch and that everyone was happy. That translates into the birthday girl having to take care of people, double checking things, cleaning up, etc. Not so much fun. And, so, we started to go to Mexico each year or another destination, just us. If someone wanted to come, cool. But we made a conscious decision to change the dynamic of how we celebrate our birthdays. And, that was to put our happiness first.

My love for traveling and teaching has brought me to the Bahamas.

 

I was on a cruise heading to the Bahamas from Miami. I co-hosted an event with branding expert Kandi “KC BizBoss” Conda called The Creativepreneur Summit: Expand Your Brand For Speakers, Authors, and Live Streamers. During the mornings, we host the summit and the remainder of the day is free for us to explore. So, we are partying in the Bahamas for my birthday! Combining the things I love to do, with fun people, and celebrating life makes me happy.

I’m not going to do the whole “32 things I learned during my 32 years on Earth” bullet point post. Instead, I’ll give you my 13 things about life that I believe are crucial to know based on my life experiences. Yes, I know more can be added to this list, but this post is long enough! haha

13 crucial things you need to know about life

 

  • Know your real friends. You will have about five people who can trust with your life, passwords, and secrets. FYI your real friends become your family.
  • Some people do not want you to do better than them. Some people prefer you to be good, not great. These people show their true colors by knocking down your ideas, telling you what you should/need to do, and say things like, “That’s cute” in that petty sounding tone.
  • You have to live for you. The moment you feel like you should be doing something because you’re a certain age or because your friends are doing it and it doesn’t align with you, you’re setting yourself up. Don’t get me wrong, you should be consistently responsible. However, don’t buy a house, get married, have a baby, etc because of FOMO. The only thing you will be missing out on is living YOUR life.
  • People will leech off of you if you let them. Some people will shower you with endless compliments just to get on your good side so they can constantly pick your brain for free and get you to do stuff for them. Also, if someone is always saying that they are busy and don’t know this and don’t know that, RUN. They aren’t trying. They are making excuses.
  • People will absolutely take your kindness for weakness. I was raised with manners. I also know that when I get mad I can take things too far, which is why I watch my words. People will take that as weakness. It’s okay to let people know that they crossed the line. You are not a welcome mat for everyone to walk over and leave you with their mess.
  • It’s okay to make mistakes, it’s how you rectify them that matters. It can’t be avoided. Just own up to it and work on making it right.
  • You will lose friends, yes even the good ones. Sometimes you lose friends because of life choices. Everything doesn’t have to end on a bad note. Know that some friendships will last a lifetime and others will not.
  • You don’t have to tell people your business. Some people are nosy and don’t care. Keep your business reserved to the VIP people in your life, not social media.
  • Some people are full of fluff. I’m all for faking it to you make it (up to a certain point), but some people will put up a very convincing over-the-top front about themselves and will throw you under the bus.
  • Some people admire you from afar. You’ll be surprise who you inspire just by being you.
  • You make the outfits you wear. I used to sacrifice comfort for fashion only to ascertain that it’s the woman who makes the outfit.
  • Learn as often as possible about as many things as possible. Learning about different cultures, technologies, languages, etc makes you a more dynamic person. You don’t have to know every single detail, but learn enough to have a conversation.
  • Study wildly successful people. Wildly successful people are great clairvoyants. They had a vision and stuck to it. They failed a ton of times, told they weren’t good enough, told they were crazy, bounced back, learned, tweaked a few things, and became successful. Their stories serve as reminders of how we need to persevere in life.

My birthday gifts to you:

  • Receive a complimentary ebook version of my book by typing in code HAPPYBIRTHDAYTIA at check out by going here.
  • If you’re all about the hands on approach, you can receive the paperback edition for $10 (originally $15) by typing in code ARKUDFKF at checkout by going here.

Let me know! How will you celebrate your birthday? Did your birthday pass? What life lessons do you want to share? Let me know in the comments below.

10 thoughts on “Birthday Unplugged

  1. Jane

    Awww 🙂 Guess what? We have the same birthday! Yey to us #Virgo Happy belated birthday 🙂 Yes you have to live for you, after all, you are the only person you can control! I agree with all the lessons her… you don’t have to tell people your business, you will lose some friends and that is okay… I enjoyed reading this, It is like hearing myself talk to myself. Great post, Tia 🙂

  2. Margot

    I love how you celebrate your life!! And I love that you get emotional over food and dogs – haha – ME TOO! But my fave is your humor, “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun is playing in the background”…hahahah, your personality really comes through your writing and it’s a pleasure to read!!

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