It seems like this year has been mainly about the decision I made to boost my confidence. And, as a result, is one of the reasons unapologetic is my word for the year. While I was planning the blog post titles for this quarter of the year, I was thinking how can I tell the Spiritual Trailblazers my source of my confidence? As I have explained in my previous writings, books, and posts, the deaths of my grandparents was a wake-up call for me about living life. That wake-up call was the alarm that triggered me to dive deeper to really understand my source of confidence.
Initially, the more awards and other accolades I received the more confident I became in myself. Unfortunately, that’s an external thing approving me. Think about it for a moment. Aren’t there many amazingly talented actors and actresses who haven’t won an Oscar? Yes! Of course, there are!
During my two-year healing journey after the deaths of my grandparents, I began to read a lot about spirituality and personal development of all kinds. I would think how brave the authors were to write about and publish such out of the box material, but it all made sense to me. So, it wasn’t so crazy after all, which lead me to the one thought that shifted my mindset and became a game changer for my self-confidence.
“What if that author didn’t write that book? Where would I be?”
While I asked myself two questions, it was a single “What if” thought process. I remember when I asked myself those questions. I was in my bathroom, eyes watery from crying, and I pulled the mirrors on the right and left side of the medicine cabinet out so I saw myself in three mirrors (That’s one of the ways I have self-talk. I call it the trifecta of Tia.). I was so thankful for what I had just read and also so scared because I was getting nudges to write a book about goddesses (This is my first book, To Be Goddess). I wanted to write about angels because I thought that was safer. Spirit (and the goddesses) had different plans. I had to write about the 13 goddesses I was working with at the time.
And, that’s when it hit me. I couldn’t write about the angels. What if those books I just read weren’t written? What if the authors decided to write something else? Where would I be right now because I just discovered the nomenclature to what I’ve been experiencing since I was a kid, such as premonition dreams and archangel visitations?
I cried some more in the bathroom. Then I looked at myself deep within my eyes and said that I’m writing the book. And, so I did.
The Game Changer
That thought process improved my confidence because I quickly learned that one of the things that hampers our success is multilayered fear. Fear shows up in many forms and we have to constantly debunk fear and tell fear to shut the hell up. As I saw royalty payments come in, I get to see which country the books were being purchased. The book was purchased in countries like Japan and the UK. Wait a minute! People outside of the United States purchased the book that I was scared to write? I really didn’t know what to expect. I thought some local people would purchase the book. I envisioned people from many backgrounds benefiting from the book but it’s still amazing when it actually happens.
If I Did It Once, Then I Can Do It Again
I began to remind myself that I’m helping women, some women who I will never meet. That weighed heavy on my heart. I was thankful. I realized that I challenged myself (I did a lot of research for my first book. The bibliography consists of two pages.) and I survived. I realized that we have to do things in increments, large or small, and we’ll get it done. I realized that it can be done. I self-published both of my books.
The If, Then Statement
It’s also one of the chapters in my book and it serves as a reminder of what we are capable of. For example, the statement works like this:
“If I can write a blog post, then I can write a book.”
“If I can book a vacation, then I can plan a small event.”
“If I can talk in front of 5 people, then I can talk in front of 20 people.”
It’s basic and I’ve done this before, so I can do it again and again and on a larger scale. Again, incremental steps towards a different or similar goal.
Where would I be?
As my mom would say, “You never know whose life you’ll touch.” This is so true. The authors whose books I have read have helped me tremendously in my life. Some of them will never know because some have passed and I’m not in the same circles as others. That’s not the point. The point is they are leaving a legacy via their works that is to improve society. Whenever fear tries to pay me a visit, I think, “I may save someone’s life, help them live their truth, or help them understand their spiritual gifts with my works.” I can’t let that person down. I have benefited from those who dared to answer the call to be of service so it’s my time to return the favor.
How will you answer the call to do what you’re being nudged to do or have let be dormant for a while?
What areas of confidence do you need to focus on?
Let me know below.
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