In previous podcast episodes, I have mentioned that I don’t go crazy on Black Friday. I go to a few stores with my mom around 9am. I’m not going to wake up mad early after a day of eating and drinking to give someone The People’s Elbow for a curved TV. Nope. Not happening. I also don’t buy anyone anything on Black Friday. I buy myself gifts. I do it because I deserve it.
I give a lot so I think it’s completely fine to treat myself. If I see something that’s really unique for someone while I’m out, then I’ll get it but that’s my goal. I decided to put myself first. To give myself permission to just do it. While I’m explaining buying tangible gifts for self, there are also intangible gifts that we should be giving ourselves, actually, throughout the year. Below are a few.
1. Time for you (without guilt).
Everyone knows that this is important but it goes to the wayside often. I get it as some reasons are completely valid, such as having children or working long hours. But we must find ways to carve out time for self. We need to replenish our energy and it needs to be done without guilt. You live for you, first and foremost. If your energy isn’t up to par, nothing else will be up to par. So how can you show up for the ones you love if you’re walking around on autopilot like a zombie? It’s okay to have time for just you, you and your partner, you and the kids, you and your ladies (see #2).
2. Ladies night out (without rushing to get home)
Sometimes, adults need to hang out with just adults and there’s nothing wrong with that scenario. Get dressed up and be a tourist in your city (or somewhere else) with the ladies. Talk, laugh, drink, dance, do whatever you want. But don’t rush to go home because that’s the guilt, among other emotions, setting in. Don’t punish yourself by staying out for three hours or else you’ll feel bad. Feel bad for what? Enjoying life? Finding some type of balance and unlocking you? Clear the day and enjoy yourself.
3. That thing you’ve been wanting to do all year.
That tattoo, get it. That trip, plan for it. That relationship, leave it OR take it to the next level. That job, ask for a promotion. That book, write it. And, the list goes on. There’s a popular saying that life’s too short so fill in the blank. I like to think that life’s too long to wast on what ifs.
4. The right to decline.
You get invited to go out but you feel like you should stay in. Well, stay in and chill. You have the right to decline that sweet offer that your intuition is telling to walk away from. You have the right to not agree. You have to right. PERIOD. Maybe your friends want to cheer you up and take you out. Okay, they want you to get some fresh air. But make sure their intentions are good and not that of putting you in a situation that really for their benefit.
5. The right to end meaningless relationships.
There’s no reason to stay somewhere that’s depleting you of you. You need to plan an exit strategy and follow through. This also applies to your job or the job position, personal relationships, and that negative self-talk relationship you got going on. This especially applies if you have children. They are so smart and absorb everything we do whether or not we realize it. Remember, you are their first role model.
6. The path to do better.
It’s your birthright to want to do better. With minimal effort from you, your body changes throughout the year, every year. No matter what, you get older. Nothing stays the same. So, why wouldn’t you want to do better? Don’t worry about how someone else may feel because of your success or potential failure. Don’t overthink about being the center of attention.
Too many times, I hear excused for why people only want to do a little better and the main reason is that they don’t like attention. Seriously? Your vibe attracts your tribe. There are many A-List actors who are private and aren’t hunted by the media. Yes, you’ll see them in the media from time to time, but their entire lives aren’t a 10-page spread in a top-notch magazine, that is until they are ready to let that happen. Allow yourself to be the best version of you.
7. Endless amounts of self-love
When you take care of yourself you become limitless. Develop a self-love plan and watch how much you will grow and how less bothered you will become about other things.
8. The right to speak up.
This is also your birthright. You have a voice and it’s meant to be heard. You can use your voice via the written word as well by starting your blog.
9. The ability to receive.
It can be hard to practice, but receiving is how we manifest quicker. When someone gives you a compliment, just say, “Thank you.”. When someone offers to treat you, just say, “Thank you”. All people to do things for you but don’t hover over them at the same time. If someone does something for you and it’s not exactly how you would do it, that’s okay. Show gratitude and later explain to them nicely how to tweak a few things.
10. The right to be proud of the person you are.
Living on this planet isn’t easy. Yes, even for rich people because everyone is going through something. If you get to shine in some way, shape, or form, you’re already winning. That shine just needs to be amplified. You’re an inspiration to someone whether or not you know it.