A follow up to post 5 Truth Bombs That Will Speed Up Your Transformation Process, we are going to look at the lies (whether we realize it is a lie or not) we tell ourselves that delays or brings to a screeching halt our growth. The thing about a lie when it comes to just about any form of growth is that it appears to be true, such as not believing that you have the capabilities to change. But what are you measuring yourself against that causes you to think a certain way?
For example, it may be true that you do not have the mental capacity to write, understand, and explain thoroughly equations for sending astronauts into space while others clearly can do it naturally. But, that has nothing to do with your personal, spiritual, mental, or physical growth. That’s a profession. However, whenever we can’t do something in one area, that easily gets translated into what we think we cannot do in other areas in our life if we aren’t conscious of our thoughts.
On the other hand, sometimes we have been told what’s best for us, what not to do, and to accept what is. I encourage you to constantly beg to differ. To ask why and why not. The truth is that we are capable of living our best lives and every now and then we will need a few people to help us.
Let’s look at the 5 lies that stunt our growth.
1. Feeling the need to keep certain people around.
Don’t set yourself up. That friend you’ve known since grade school, your first love, that person who helped you that one time all sound like great people but you don’t owe them anything. A lie I commonly hear people talk about hanging out with someone because “They may have their faults but they’ll be there if I call them.” or “Well, I’ve known them for like 10 years (but haven’t keep in touch often).”
Is it worth dealing with all of their drama for the one time you may call on them? Do you really know someone if you barely keep in touch? Let go of the false sense of obligation and loyalty. Ask yourself if that person is adding real value to your life. That answer will determine whether or not they are worth keeping around.
2. It’s going to take too long to accomplish. So why bother?
This is a very damaging thought process. The truth is that the time will past anyway and then you’ll develop the feeling of regret. How do you define “too long”? If you invite people to help you, then it may not take as long as you think. One thing I have noticed is that the older you get the faster time seems to go so why not give that thing or person a chance?
3. Trusting the process without giving your 300%.
A big misinterpretation in the “trusting the process” is believing that if you do one thing, such as saying affirmations, that things will just fall into place. Another misinterpretation is believing that you don’t have to give more than your all. As the saying goes, “What got you here won’t get you there.” You have to give it your all and more.
Think of any adventure movie where the hero gave it his all but he had to dig deeper and come back bigger, badder, and stronger with a new sense of unbreakable belief. Yeah, do that because growing is upping the ante so you will have to become bigger, badder, and stronger with a new sense of unbreakable belief in self.
4. I’m not successful because I’m not doing enough.
I definitely used to think like this and I recently had a conversation with a friend who believed that she wasn’t doing enough because her family was asking her when she was going to have kids and all that jazz. I quickly reminded her of all the amazing stuff she’s doing and lo and behold her family isn’t doing any of that. I wasn’t knocking her family. I was putting things into perspective.
She’s a high achiever and high achieving people always feel like they, *cough* we *cough*, have to do more. Because of that thought process, we can easily take into account others’ definition of success and question our own. This is why it’s crucial to define and evaluate throughout the year what our definition of success is and understand that we do a lot.
5. I don’t trust myself to make the right decisions.
So you have made several bad decisions. So you have made some good decisions that haven’t panned out the way you would’ve liked. Does that mean you are terrible at decision making or just need to be better informed, more educated, and think longer before you make your final decision? You are the CEO of your life and you are more than capable of making the right decisions. Somethings that happen are out of your control and other times you just have to go back and evaluate the decisions you have made.